To all these nameless feelings

Love, hate, betrayal, friendship, enemity all these feelings play in us. We are surrounded by emotions, they are like bubbling out in front of our eyes, bouncing on the canvas. Life teaches us some important lessons. We have so many feelings in us that we describe to friends, families, facebook ;) and in all of that there are some nameless feelings growing inside us. They are a specific emotion one rarely has for some moments, sometimes a mixture of several feelings, but not one in particular. The "nameless" feelings have no names, because they are so intense and uncommon, and have not been experienced by enough people in the society. Only one who is suffering from it can understand and relate these feelings.

These nameless feelings are constantly flowing inside us, confusing us, burning us, making us think what if? Its hard to ignore it, and even harder to get mind off it once it strikes us. It pulls down your mind from the current moment into some other place. Deep inside we know its time to leave these places far behind, but we never can. When we see someone we once loved, we get the feeling of love, betrayal, hatred, tears, anger all mixed up. A nameless feeling arises, forcing you to cry in anger with love. When you climb a mountain you almost fell off, again you get mixed feelings of fear, hope. Even when meeting friends, we can have nameless feelings mixed of anger, love. We cry out in desperation but there is no one to understand and comfort. We try to find a solution or the source of these feelings, but end up with fustration. It burns up one's ambitions and takes away all joy in life.

So, to all these nameless feelings, I cant deal with in my life; you've left me broken, bleeding. You've made me cry, you've made me feel the shame, you've made me angry and you've made me feel the pain. I keep asking why can't I replace feelings I find really hard to find? Now that its done, its time I find a way too look in between these dark clouds and if I don't its time to look whats in between the line because all I wanna do is get with you and make the pain go away.

Expectations??? Is it Good

In life we have to go through many challenges and obstacles. We strive to fulfill our expectations, and also other's expectations. The sad part of life is it may not always be fulfilled. A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.
Expectations brings on pressure, the forceful need to perform. Everyone is good at something, but attempt for perfection is what spoils it. Not everyone can achieve everything, but not everyone is ready to accept that. Life is a struggle, your parents expect things from you, your teachers expects you to perform, your friends expect few things, even the society will expect things from you and on top of that our never satisfying heart. The worst part of expectation is the grief and pain that comes when we don't fulfill it.
Every expectation has a source, and that source pressurizes us to perform else punishments or consequences will overtake the emotional state of a person. A student is expected to score every time they write an exam. Parents and teachers pressurizes them, and if they fail they get emotionally stressed and go on to drinking, smoking, or drugs. They even go on to attempt suicide. That's what expectations and pressure can bring to human being, its not the case only for students, for every human role, there are lots of expectations. Son, father, Daughter, Mother, Staff, Boss, every role a human can have. "Feeling like one has not lived up to his or her high expectations or those of another" is one of the major cause of suicide. Is human life the price to pay for expectations??? You either loose yourself or kill yourself when you fail to live up to expectations.
So, expectation is it just a way to hurt yourself? Well its better to have a hope to live rather than expectations, it certainly makes shoulders lighter. Also I believe a person can perform better if he is allowed space and freedom, rather than pressure and expectations. When we have expecatations, a part of mind is always stuck on thinking the outcome and the need to succeed, where as a free mind can work with out fear and they can think awesome ideas.
So, I guess we've all heard " If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed". Well its not realistic in my case, cause we humans will always have expectations in life, thus we can say there were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations. Expectations will always be part of life, whether we like it or not, its essential we use it as a strength rather than weakness. When you don't meet your expectations, don't be a whiner, just accept the reality and just remember how awesome you are.
Life is beautiful, if you just let it run. Work smart, never back down, keep trying, keep challanging, keep working, lower the expecatations, accept reality and try to live for the moment.

Here are few cases:
Academic pressure makes kids suicidal - Times Of India
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-01-14/parenting/30447282_1_vtu-visvesvaraya-technological-university-engineering-colleges

A suicide case in Sait
http://www.deccanherald.com/content/49764/mba-student-commits-suicide.html

Why People Suicide
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-causes.html

Growin up Geek

Geek - The word geek is a slang term, with different meanings ranging from "a computer expert or enthusiast"
We all have a story on how our life headed towards something, how we started to fall in love with the word called "Computer". Back, in the days when I was a kid I used to be zero in computers, all I did was play some 2D games. I didn't even knew the meaning of installwhen it came on screen. I was moked by my friends cause I didn't knew anything. I first PC was a Pentium-IV Desktop Computer with 40 gb HDD and 128 mb Ram. Everything was new to me, I still remember my sister teaching me to browse the internet, except back then I thought that only those websites that comes under suggestion were available. I used to be blamed whenever the computer had any problem. Slowly, I started to develop curosity and enthusiasm for computers. I started doing research on it via internet, of how things work. My brother Pratik Joshi was the reason for me trying some graphical softwares, we were just playing with photoes on photoshop at his home, and guess what I was amazed to see its beauty.
I never took any classes, all I did was follow my enthusiasm and try out all the menus and settings, slowly I started small programming in DOS. Then slowly [dot]net, c++ creeped into my blood. I started developing few softwares, but I still lacked behind in web developments. Then I met this guy called Xtranophilist, who influenced me into web developments. I slowly started with PHP and some javascripts. Then I never looked back, my life had changed. I was in love with the word called computers, I was always reading about something new. I started reverse engineering, It required huge dedication to understand the things, first thing i reverse engineered was "Mystrycase File : Huntville" took me 30 full hours, I was glued to computer all along that time.
By now, I had gained concepts of manythings and I was still trying to learn. Yeah, the learning never stops, even today I learn many things each day. So by my experience I can say, enthisiasm makes you learn many things in life. You got to have hunger to know things and you got to have patience to try things. A different kind of thinking is needed to code. We all learn each day, but we must remember learning new language is of no use, unless it enables you to think differently. You got to have plans of solving a problem, then an approach to solve it, and its requirements and you have to work in organized manner. You can check this beautiful article regarding how to organize and code http://www.dreamintech.net/2011/10/what-to-do-before-you-start-digging-into-the-code/#disqus_thread

Future of tech!!!

Technology has been changing at a rapid pace. The products are getting smaller and more functional, the internet is becoming a new home for people. The world seems much smaller now and people of various countries can communicate and work together easily. The business related to technology is getting high revenue in short time.So where is the technology heading??? What can we expect from the future???

We have seen tablets gaining popularity across the world. Desktop PC's are slowly getting out of frame, with people looking for more portability, in this quick pace world. The mobile phones are gaining more and more PC functionality. I strongly believe the tablets are gonna be there in the future, with people working, playing, entertaining on the go!!! Along with cloud network, another feature gaining popularity across the world; it seems to have a strong feature. Cloud networking will put all datas on the cloud, so all you need is a device that can connect to the internet. This might mean end of Laptops, and desktop pcs. Even the softwares might not exist no more (a sad thing for desktop programmer). We might be seeing ourselves carrying tablets with better battery backup, high speed internet, in the future.

Cloud computing rise might mean end of software and products. All the products will be service in the future, With person carrying just a small device to work on. One thing I really love about technology is the fact that it has brought the whole world together, people from far places now share and express themselves to others. A virtual life that is developing mutual respect and love between people, and I expect it to continue further more.

The future might not only change the way we work or entertain, it is most likely going to impact our daily lives; the morning papers delivered to your system, the books, exams everything going electronic (save the trees :) ). The tv, phones disappearing from our lives. Everything getting more and more portable and smaller. I know people might be expecting time travel, holographic display on every device, better AI, avility to touch a person in the future; well that maybe on the cards but I'm just viewing few years ahead. Anything that has to gain popularity in future should consider psychological state of human, stress, hurry, anger are the usual emotions to be found in the new world. So will there be an app for that??? You might never know!!!

Steve Jobs - An Icon

October 5, 2011 - the whole world was taken aback with the demise of Steve Jobs. He was an inventor, a genius mind that shook the world with his creations. He had the vision to change the world, and he transformed Apple into one of the biggest names in the technology field.
He is an inspiration for many peope out there. He found what he loved and he certainly was the crazy one driving the technology to the next level. "Death is very likely the single best invention of life." he used to say.
To me, Jobs was one of the greatest idol of all times; "Think different", that word always encouraged me. I was shocked, saddened by the news of his demise on my twitter timeline. I started thinking what he had done to the Technological world. He was a true Geek; always stepping ahead and making everything beautiful. Life is unfair, people like him are meant to be there forever but at 56 Jobs passed away. He will be remembered all around the world, and many global figures has paid tribute to him. Like for most, he is an example of what you can do in short span of time of your life. He has been an inspiration since I got into the technological field. Its hard to believe how life turns around. The world has lost a great visionary but he will always be an example for every person to follow.
I am still shaking and staring at my screen, checking news and informations about him. I still cant believe what happened, and how it happened... I started the day thinking to celebrate the festival with other friends, but the news caught me and I couldn't, People might call it "posey" but I don't care I respect Jobs more than the gods, Maybe thats the way life goes on.
Geeks are meant to live forever and am sure he will be living in every heart of people that has even heard the word "technology".

RIP Steve Jobs

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the ones who think differently. While some may see crazy, we see genius." -Steve Jobs 1955-2011

From Everything to Nothing...

You neither have everything, nor nothing.. Its just our inability to see the brightest or the darkest sight.

There are times when you feel you have everything, yet you end up with nothing; If there was something wrong who would have guessed it??? A moment you are standing at the top of a mountain, the next you are pushed to the ground. They say you have choices of how you want to live. Yes, maybe you do; but what can you do about the voices that run around. It makes you feel like you have been pulled to the ground, left alone with nothing but memories. Your throne has been captured, your place has been taken, your love has been stolen, your life has been overtaken.
Life treats you funny; You are given every moment of emotions. You feel like you are in heaven, full of love, full of care. You feel so complete loving each moment of life, feeling like you have grown up. You dream of all the good things thats coming, planning each moments to make it special. "Life is gOOd." Who said its tough? Nothing can go wrong, Nothing...
Yes, Nothing does go wrong and it comes to your life. "Nothing" appears like a storm and takes away "Everything" from your life. The love, care, dreams, plans everything is lost into a dark corner of your mind, making a scar on your heart. Now, you feel like "Happiness", is seldom found. You try to think what went wrong but you are left answerless... It just happened, your blown away. Justice is done; "Life starts now". You feel like you have grown up, but the truth is you just stopped looking at yourself. You were just too busy enjoying everything.
The heart and mind completely gets frozen to the moment and you loose your ability to see the life as you used to. Even small things in life becomes an obstacle and you feel you are so dumb, that you can't relate. The confidence in one's ability to hold on to things gets blown away. You look for the answers that are never found, you search for a path that never existed. You become a child with tears in its eyes - without a parent, without a mission.
Now, you have a new journey to travel, just with a heavier heart of loosing everything that you ever dreamt of... Replacing each broken stone with new ones to build your castle of dreams. Everything in this world surrounds you, just ask yourself are you ready to live? After waiting all this time with nothing to hold on, are you ready to build the phases of your life?

Making your own decisions is part of growing up; Just make sure you don't embaress the person in the mirror

The Wake Up Call

Life is too precious to be a joke; learn to live it to fullest and enjoy every moment and make them count.
While the world was busy joking and enjoying, working their souls out, sleeping with their face down, some parts of the world was taken aback by a horrifying earthquake. People of Kathmandu and few other cities in India, Nepal and Bangladesh ware left shaking, shocked and scared due to 6.8 scale Earthquake for 1 and half minutes. It again proved the fact that life is unpredictable; anything can strike at any moment and we must be prepared for it.

People died, got injured and scared in the event. There were screams, all the signs of fear never seen, tears and the fear of death. It was a call, a wake up call showing how precious life is for everyone. The most scariest moment of life must be to see death ahead and still be able to do nothing. I now think, all the love we run after, all the money, pride... what are they? They are just  a phase in life which can be recovered. I was shocked and scared myself upon reading the tweets about #Sept18quake. I started messaging and calling my dear ones, I came online to talk with people. I forgot all the love, enemity, hatred at that moment, all I could think was of people I knew whoever they were. I can only imagine how people who faced the quake are feeling. The scariest 2 minutes of life, where you must have feared for life. Honestly, If you weren't scared during it, You'll never be scared about anything!
Still I saw few people joking, creating fan pages about the event. I don't know why the world is becoming such a show off. Its not a cool event that had happened, people lost life, and their thoughts. Facebook like page. "18 September 2011. I Survived the earthquake", seriously? what has happened to the world? Atleast respect people who lost something, and who is to say that next quake can't be around the corner? Its better if you google safety measures and practise it rather than creating a silly pages, which can hamper people emotionally. People out of Nepal were scared like a shit cause they couldn't contact home... well most of em. People take it seriously, you havent won an award by surviving the quake and it isn't cool to have faced the quake. So don't just "Shake it", open your eyes and see how unpredictable life is. Live the best of it. Prepare yourself and take the events seriously.

Come on people, it doesn't matter how cool you are; just be true to yourself. Don't loose your self respect trying to act cool. Instead, learn to respect yourself and who you are. It was a wake up call, that we need to be prepared to face calamities and have faith in oneself. The place is our home, and we don't know how long we'll live in it. So, why be a faker and hurt people, break their feelings. Learn to respect life, learn to respect others and value people around you. Instead of wasting time trying to create something cool about the event and enjoy 2000+ likes Google what to do during earthquake. Be ready, Be safe People...
A hearty condolence to people who lost their life in the quake....

A notice for all
What to Do During an Earthquake
http://www.fema.gov/hazard/earthquake/eq_during.shtm

Finding myself in this world.........

I was born in 1990 as a second child to my parents. I believe I was lucky enough to have parents that gave me freedom to move around and enjoy the life, thus enabling me to develop myself and my thoughts. I always believed a person free to move around his path can be of some use, than a person who is trained to be something. I did move on to my life, made mistakes and even failed; but I was moving on after each failiure taking it as a lesson and experience to be someone I wanted to be.


I always loved the dark side of life, I loved being alone circulating around things I love. I was never afraid of lonliness, and I always wanted it, loved it and lived it. I was a person who never cared to see if I had someone waiting for me or not. I think I just lost myself there.......... I am nowhere in this world, The normal things around seems so complicated to me. I wish I had lived my life better. I look around the world, freely chattin and doing free things and look at my inability to do those things. I ask myself why I can't just be as free and actually normal.... Why can't I just do most of normal things in life???? I feel I could have lived my life better in childhood........


I look at myself now and realize my mind is laughing at me because I am just a no one in this world and sadly I have lost my world..... Am hanging alone in a space where I can see people moving on; but hardly anyone can see me.... I want to feel normal and freely fly with people, BUT no matter how hard I try I cannot just do those things. While in group, I can only laugh at what others say, I hardly could speak to my parents and my sis... I did nothing except reply or irritate them. However I can speak when a certain situation arises or a topic arises and when I need to.....on certain aspects I am interested in, or when someone needs me!!!!!!!


I dont know how I can escape from these things in life and enjoy what others enjoy. Give people what they expect regularly, atleast.......... I put effort to just be myself and try to mix with others, but I know its a useless try and I never succeeded........ I look around myself and see people..... but I find myself blocked by certain nerdy things and they cant see anything that there is a person with certain dead emotion staying just to be touched or waved at or smiled at.......


I never found any static place for myself in this world. I want to realize who am I? I want to find a spot where I can mix and actually feel am in this world..... Why is it so difficult......... I can say I always end p finding myself in a deep hole full of pictures of people enjoying....... I wish to........ but I know they are just a picture and they dont need me until they fall from the wall and I get the responsibility of hanging them........ thats the only time I get close... after hanging am again in the same state of finding myself staring at em.... while they just cant see me!!!!!!!!!!!!


HELLO TO THIS WORLD

Cloud Computing - The Future???

The end of ‘Fashion-IT’?? – customers will only pay for value and not technology.

Cloud computing is the delivery of computing as a service rather than a product, whereby shared resources, software and information are provided to computers and other devices as a utility (like the electricity grid) over a network (typically the Internet). IT is basically a concept of letting your ideas float in a server rather than on business apps, making it more faster, highly customizable and well upgradable. It provides data access, computation and storage without the need of physical location. All the applications run on a shared data center and also provides dynamically scalable and often virtualized resources. So you get to use the applications via internet, which can be accessed from a web browser, while the business software and data are stored on servers at a remote location
Usually, when you open a business, you need softwares, power, bandwith and such other things. You also need a team of trained IT experts to run and manage them. Upgrading, maintaining, testing the softwares becomes a painful task. Compare that to cloud computing which provides a new way to increase capacity or add capabilities on the fly without investing in new infrastructure, training new personnel, or licensing new software. It is fast to get started and also economical. It is flexible and follows pay for what you use. You can customize the packages you need. Thats the power of Cloud Computing; and its changing the way we think about softwares.

There are all kinds of apps running on cloud, consumer, business apps and even custom apps. It is more reliable and secure; as it doesnt have separate apps for each business thats using it. Its one app that everyone shares, but its highly flexible for every business to customize as per their needs. The new features and updates are automatically installed, so it provides easy upgrades and maintenance.
It has gained lots of popularity in the world. Basically the concept here is applications and storage are web based. So, you don't save file on hard drive and don't access them on computer; its all stored online and its gonna be there no matter what computer you are from. This increases portability and allows easy sharing across networks.

However there is a downside to cloud computing. You don't know where your data are stored, and how it might be used. Everything depends upon faith that your data will be kept safe and won't be used in a criminal way. Also there is a possibility that a service could crash or go out of business, leaving users with limited or no access to their data. It also doesn't allow the users to control the environment like they want. So you cannnot schedule your backups and use it like a personal computer. The other issue that might effect people is when the cloud computing server goes down. What happens if you can't access your file for a day, it might impact the business. We have seen Google Apps go down in countries. Also the cloud server can be in any country and each country have different rules and regulation about data security. Finally another question to be asked is can we migrate current business conviniently with all the datas and who will be the owner?

Thus, Cloud Computing is a neat concept of computing. It has lots of advantages, high storage on servers, easy upgradability and maintenance. Its easier to share and work on documents as it can be accessed from any computers, but there are some security and EULA issues to be considered while signing up for the service. It will certainly provide more effective way to run business, and focus more on services. So there is no reason to give up on Cloud Computing, we should promote it.

The cloud is for everyone. The cloud is a democracy. However beware of false cloud.